I’m 34 years old and my husband is 35. Most of our “couple friends” are people we met at least 10, if not 15 years ago. They’ve known us through all the phases and life changes. They were there in the party days, the wedding days, the current kiddo days. We’ve all grown up together. There’s a really special bond and a whole lot of history.
But, how do you make couple friends when you’re in your mid-30s? When there’s no background, no context. You just meet someone at THIS particular chapter in their lives, without really knowing much about what they used to do or how they used to be.
Can the connection be as strong?
Just like finding love, when it happens, you’ll know.
You will meet a couple you connect with immediately and I have a little story to share to prove it.
My husband and I recently went to Austin, TX for a wedding. I was in the wedding and this was one of my friends from college that hadn’t lived in the area for a very long time, so this was going to be a completely new circle of people.
I was in better shape, having gone to her shower over the summer, so I had met a lot of family and friends when I was there. But my husband wouldn’t know a SOUL.
Some of the bride’s friends from high school live about 2.5 hours from us and we were all going to be on the same plane.
Only ONE of the girls was bringing her husband. In my head I thought, what are the odds that my husband and this guy actually like each other? Or that the girl and I have a lot in common? 50/50 right? You just never know.
We and this couple were already getting ‘set up’ and the pressure was on.
I remember sitting at the airport gate, scouring the crowd for the mystery couple. It was literally the same feeling when thinking about a blind date. What do they look like? What do they act like? Do they swear as much as me? Should I be myself right away or tame it down?
My husband and I aren’t exactly quiet.
We both have really big personalities and will do anything for a laugh.
We saw a big group of girls with one guy and knew it must be them, but we didn’t make a move for fear of looking like giant weirdos.
When we landed, we’d meet.
And that we did.
My friend came over to greet all of us and we were all awkwardly standing in a circle. I looked at the couple, the mystery couple, and they actually looked oddly familiar.
I figured it was a good icebreaker to tell them this, and the conversation started to happen.
Oh, where did you go to college and when did you graduate?
It then turned into how many kids do you have and how old are they?
This is where the connection either happens or it doesn’t.
When small talk has to become real talk.
We laughed over the fact that we both picked each other out at the gate, but didn’t want to seem strange and introduce ourselves. The girl and I talked about needing a weekend away and I could hear the guys start to chat behind us. Talking turned to laughter pretty quickly and I breathed a sigh of relief.
The boys were über comfortable with one another and were cracking jokes like old frat buddies almost instantly.
I got along with the girl so well, too, both of us busy moms that run small businesses.
I knew we had met our spirit animals for the weekend.
We all went to lunch and bonded even further. It’s super rare for all four people in a group of couples to get along and genuinely like each other. But for us, we got really lucky.
The conversation felt so authentic. The similarities started to pile up and we almost forgot that we had just met them wee hours before. Numbers were exchanged and we knew the next day would be the wedding, so we’d reconvene.
And we sure did.
We had a BLAST!!
Dancing, eating, drinking, talking, laughing.
But then came the time to make the decision.
Does this ‘friendship’ continue or was it just a fling?
Are these new couple friends, long-term?
Sunday we were all staying in Austin, so it was that weird, “do I text them to hang out” or “have they had enough of us” or “do they really like us or are they just being nice?”
As we ventured into the city, we sent a text to see if they were downtown, but they had already left. But we got an invite text to dinner with a hilarious, “If we are overbearing or annoying, just tell us.”
They were feeling the same feels as us.
We didn’t want to look like stalkers, but we really wanted to get together again.
And so did they.
Couples dating is a lot like real dating. In the beginning, you never want to be the person that goes too far, too fast. But guess what, if you don’t jump in, if you don’t make new connections and have new experiences, your life will be a lot more boring.
We got together for dinner and spent three hours talking and laughing and planning to get together back home.
It took Texas to bring us together, but the girl and I have already worked on some business together and we’ve made our first official double date for January which we’re really excited about it.
Meeting new people is always an adventure. And sometimes at our ages, we feel like we don’t need to make new friends or we’ve lived too much life to mesh into someone else’s without drama. So not true.
And guess what, as if by some serendipitous act, as I was writing this blog, I got a text from another couple that we met (you guessed it) at a wedding, about 3 years ago. They are coming to town from Florida over the summer and we are going to get together!
If you’re in a new city…
If your best couple friends moved away…
If you are foodies and need to find a foodie match…
If you go away on vacation and don’t want to be alone…
Find your couple connection!
Most likely, they are in the exact same boat, just waiting for someone to make the first move. 🙂