When we’re kids, and we really believe we can be anything, our true character comes out.
I was a very shy, nervous kid. A pretty typical beginning for a writer, since we tend to be loners anyway. I used to hide in my locker in preschool, and in kindergarten when I would finish my spelling test, I would put my head down and pretend I wasn’t finished, embarrassed that I was done first.
I was always an old soul, I guess I still am. I was the kid sitting at the adult table drinking coffee while the other kids were outside playing. I never felt much like a kid. I was a worrywart, I was a perfectionist. I was too aware of everything, too wise for my own good.
So when I come across something from my childhood that actually makes me feel like I once was a dreamer, I’m very happy. My mom recently found a binder that my grandmother had kept full of drawings and stories written by the grandchildren.
Although I had some drawings in there, most of my pieces in the binder were stories. And at the end of most of these, I had signed my name and written underneath “world’s best writer,” or “famous writer.” It was my dream.
The best one I found was a letter I had written to my grandmother. She herself was a writer, and I had told her how much I wanted to be like her and how I promised I would dedicate my first book to her (that’s still a goal of mine). I wrote in the letter that if I didn’t write, I didn’t know what else I would do. I was 10 years old.
When you know, you know.
To be sitting here now almost 20 years later, writing for a living, makes me feel like I have fulfilled that little girl’s dream. And even though my grandma is not here physically, she is still inspiring me and reminding me of what I’m supposed to be doing. My mom finding that binder at this point in my life was no accident. Serendipity is my favorite word on Earth, and its definition is “a fortunate accident.”
That discovery was a fortune accident, and it gave me the boost and confidence that we all need sometimes, the confirmation that I’m doing the right thing.
I hope you all have a serendipitous day!